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Uncover The Fatherless Wound And Let God Heal It!

Posted on 15 June, 2015 at 0:15


Abandonment is such a crazy thing to deal with, especially when you are a child. It leaves you feeling absolutely hopeless, unwanted and cause a great wound in ones spirit. When I was a little girl I believe I was five or six years old my father and mother split and he moved to another state. I went from seeing my father everyday and having him there in the home, to not seeing him or talking to him for years at a time. Could you imagine the kind of confusion that little girl dealt with on a daily basis? She once had a daddy who told her that he loved her and would never leave her. However he didn't just leave her he became nonexistent, and his love was lost. I found myself trying to figure out what did I do wrong that my daddy didn't want me anymore. I can remember questioning myself, “what is wrong with me that he doesn't want me?” I turned the blame on myself because as a child you believe everything that your parents tell you. My father told me that he loved me and if he stopped loving me then I must of did something wrong. That's how I thought as a child and that is why I question my role in his actions.

 

Isn't it crazy that an innocent child is willing to take responsibility for a grown person’s actions, yet some grown people will not take responsibility for their own actions? There I was a child trying to figure out why this adult chose not to be in his children's life. I am not surprised that little girl decided to blame herself because she didn't have the cognitive reasoning to come up with the correct answer. The Bible says when I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child.

 

 

As the years went by and I barely heard from my father I became very angry. I was tired of hurting and being disappointed. I decided that I was going to cover-up this wound that hurt so bad and move on. I figured since he wasn't really there for me; I mean a phone call every some odd years was not sufficient. I decided I didn't have a father and refused to talk to him when he did call (which was not a great task since he rarely called). I put that band aid on and told myself out of sight out of mind. I told myself by any means necessary I was going to rid myself of this hurt and nobody was going to stop me. My mother who I would never disobey (I mean while I was still young) would try to force me to speak to my father when he called. She would literally force the phone in my hand but I would not say a word! Listen I had a made up mind that he no longer was going to have access to me even if that meant I had to pay the consequences. My mother would threaten to "tear my behind up if I didn't take the phone "but I didn't care I made a decision and I was sticking to it (thank God she didn't follow through with her threats).

 

Listen when God saved me I truly became a new creation in every sense of the word. What I love about God is that he uncovers every wound so that he can bring complete healing. Have you ever had a cut and immediately covered it with a band aid? After awhile when you take it off the wound is still moist, painful and has not healed. That's what I found out about this wound I was an adult now and that wound that I covered up was still as painful as it was the day I put the bandage over it. God wants us to be whole and in order to be whole you must have complete healing on every level.

 

Listen every saint has a pass and I'm no exception. The Bible says for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I had repented for what I had done and asked God to save me. Then God hit me with the verse that says “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, then your heavenly Father will also forgive you.” I knew that I needed God to come into my life it was time and the pull of God was so strong on me. However I thought at first really God do we really have to deal with this now! I didn't feel like he deserved my forgiveness after all he put me through. Then God spoke to me and said "Do you deserve my forgiveness after all I done for you and you walked away from me?" He then said "how can you ask for mercy but won't give mercy?" Let me tell you the tears that flowed from my eyes! I finely got! Forgiveness is about you being whole so that healing can take place. God delivered me from that bondage of unforgiveness and pain that was holding me back from my purpose and destiny. Please know that you have to be whole to experience your full potential where your purpose and destiny lies.

 

I showed mercy and forgave my father and let him into my life. I didn't ask for an explanation of why he walked away (because let's be honest no answer would be sufficient), Listen don't beat yourself up or the person who is a asking for forgiveness nor should you seek an answer of why. One, because they are not going to give you the answer your looking for and two they probably don't know the answer themselves. If you are going to have mercy on a person, that means that you’re going to let it go because you decided to, not because of what they say or do.

 

People of God listen I know that there are a lot of people that are hurting because their father walked away and never looked back. I know when Father's Day comes it either triggers the hurt or send people into denial, because they tell themselves don't seem to care. However, I challenge you to let it go this year and give the gift of mercy. I know that you don't feel like they deserve it, but do you deserve God’s forgiveness, Grace and Mercy? No; but he freely gives it! Jesus said "I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly" If you want to live the abundant life you must be whole and unforgiveness blocks your wholeness. Please take off the band aid, expose the wound and let God heal it!

 

 

I Love You With Love Of The Lord

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